ALGC PROJECTS

I was going to call this dispatch "the circle of existence", but then I realized that Ferris Wheels are significantly more fun than circles, and from that realization was spawned another realization, which is that the Ferris Wheel itself can be our placeholder for the beginning of the Ferris Wheel of Existence. Let me explain.

 

A lot of my attention goes to very human things. This is a natural tendency, of course, being that I am a human. But if you look at my past dispatches, pretty much all of them deal with things directly concerning me and my interaction with the world. From New Yorker Covers and book binding projects to calendar systems and ways of organizing my life, most of my thoughts are introspective, dealing with who I am, what I feel, my likes, dislikes, and memories.

 

Some people can go their entire lives existing in this world, at the bottom of the Ferris Wheel. Maybe they're scared of heights, or they left their purse at home and don't have enough money to pay for a ride, or they just ate, and it's a bit windy out, and they don't think that riding on a Ferris Wheel of all things is what they need right now. Whatever the reason, fair enough. These are the athletes, the architects, designers, priests, poets, what have you.

 

Come to think of it, I myself have spent the better part of the last three years or so loitering around at the bottom of this Ferris Wheel, not concerned with what exists up above. This makes sense, considering the last three years have been defined by a pandemic, which is possibly the most human thing there is, even though it is caused by something distinctly inhuman, worried about friends and family, mental health, education, personal safety, etc.

 

But a couple weeks ago, I saw some birds and decided, what the hell, lets see what all the fuss over this Ferris Wheel is about. I bought a ticket, the line was long but I've finally secured my place at the front, and I'd like you to come with me on this ride: the Ferris Wheel of Existence. Here goes nothing!

 

Stop One: Birds

 

That thing that I just said about seeing some birds was not a metaphor for looking up at the Ferris Wheel, although, yes that was very clever of me I agree thank you. A couple weeks ago I was sitting in my high school science class, bored out of my mind, as per usual. Side note; it's a real shame that high school science classes are so boring, because science is just about the least boring thing there is. It's incredible how many amazing English teachers are out there that manage to stir an interest in something as dry as poetry - I know this because I'm one of the people foolish enough to have become obsessed with poetry - and yet I've genuinely never had an engaging science teacher. Anyway, in this science class we were talking about birds, the Albatross in particular I think, and suddenly I became aware of birds, and started scrolling through several dozen wikipedia articles for different birds, literally grinning ear-to-ear in excitement over how many funny birds there were.

 

I don't know if you saw my most recent video but it's basically me painting some birds while reviewing books, and now you know where that weird idea came from: the first stop on my Ferris Wheel ride!

 

The reason birds are emblematic of an *ascension* on the Ferris Wheel is because they, like every other part of the natural world are a part of the human experience, and yet not dependent on humans to exist. They are part of our story, and we of theirs, but one of us is not necessary for the other. When you go out into nature, and you realize this fact; that nature isn't there for you, or because of you, or in spite of you, that it just *is*, it can kind of blow your mind. At least it does for me.

 

In all likelihood, birds have not given you any more thought over the last ten years than you have of them, unless you are an ornithologist, in which case, I hate to break it to you, but that thought-relationship is very one sided.

 

Stop Two: The Earth

 

But enough about birds. Birds represent, on this Ferris Wheel of existence, simply an awareness that your internal world, and that of humankind, is not the only internal world that exists. And that's no real accomplishment. If we broaden our horizons a bit more, we will eventually find them curving into a sphere, and that sphere is the Earth.

 

The forces that are at work on the Earth have a dramatic impact on the inner worlds of both humans and birds. Things like gravity, magnetic fields, the ozone layer, evaporation, erosion, tectonic plate shifts, weather patterns, tides, etc. Humans like to believe that these things were created for us, which is a comforting idea that I think we all rely upon at least sometimes, because it makes us feel like things are moving and changing with our best interests in mind. But man, once you get up a couple stops on the Ferris Wheel of Existence that idea breaks down pretty quickly. The Earth is not a living thing, like us, it is not aware of itself, like us, it is not aware of others, like birds, it just *is*. And there's really nothing we can do about it. I guess we could devote a thousand years to destroying Earth, just to see it gone, and then every person of the future could come back here and laugh at me for saying that the Earth "is". But what would be the point of that? There are damn near infinite planets in the universe, and they all *are*, and that's something we *really* can't do anything about.

 

Stop Three: The Universe

 

I know, it's a pretty big jump to go from birds to the earth to the universe. But in my experience, Ferris Wheels never get nearly as high up as you expect them to, and then all of a sudden you're on your way back down again. They almost never stop for long when you're perfectly situated in the top-most car.

 

But there's one aspect of the Earth I mentioned that can get us there, to the top of the Ferris Wheel, and that's gravity. Gravity is a force that you, me and all the birds you've ever seen are intimately familiar with. It's also one of the most prominent forces in the universe, admittedly lagging quite a bit behind dark matter, but it's trying its best. Gravity holds every bar of soap, bird, person, planet, star, black hole, and galaxy together, all at once! And you have to admit that's pretty incredible.

 

Last I checked, the consensus was that the universe began like 13 point something billion years ago, after the big bang, and all matter began as a sort of particle soup, which was so hot that none of it could figure out what it was. But then eventually it started forming into discernible ingredients, like hydrogen, oxygen, and, eventually, tomatoes and beans.

 

However, as the expression goes, all good things must come to an end. This is true, but I feel like the expression annoyingly neglects the fact that bad things also always come to an end, along with perfectly mediocre things, and things of all sorts of assigned values on a morality scale! To put it simply: everything ends. Including you, your friends and family, this dispatch (thankfully), and the universe itself.

 

We haven't exactly figured out how the universe will end, we know that currently, it's expanding at a maybe exponential rate, and maybe that will go on forever until matter gets so stretched out that nothing can exist any more, and stars and black holes will decay and die and then there will be black nothing forever. Or maybe the expansion will reverse at some point and then everything will one day come crashing back in on itself, also fun, or (my favorite), maybe eventually some intelligent species *cough cough it could be us guys* will eventually figure out some way of creating a new universe, in essence making a new big bang, which may or may not destroy our universe, and start the whole thing over again. There's a ton of possibilities, but the bottom line that everyone pretty much agrees upon is that it will end somehow.

 

Stop Four: Philosophy

 

Now, having learned all this, that birds are real and that the Earth doesn't care about you and that the universe will end someday, you might be wondering, "how am I supposed to feel about this?". Which, no offense, is a really stupid question for you to ask, because, if you've learned anything by now, it should be that you aren't "supposed" to feel anything about anything. All this stuff exists and is happening whether you like it or not. But also sorry if I offended you in saying that, your question isn't that stupid, it's actually kind of brilliant, because that's our next stop on the Ferris Wheel.

 

Inevitably, like I said earlier, you can't spend that much time at the top of the Ferris wheel, knowing the universe will end, without starting to feel something about it, and at that point you've already begun your descent. Science, math, and philosophy are all super closely connected, as an eccentric math teacher of mine often told me. It's very difficult, impossible even, for us humans to know stuff and think things without simultaneously feeling something about them.

 

There are many philosophical responses you can have to all this. You can get real nihilistic about it, and decide that because it ends it doesn't matter. You could get hedonistic about it, and decide that because it ends you might as well enjoy it as much as you can. The options are as unlimited as your own imagination.

 

Stop Five: Consciousness

 

Ok ok hang on a second. Woah. We just thought all those things, and went all those places. My explanations were not that great, and probably factually incorrect in several places, because I've written this whole thing more or less off the top of my head, and as a consequence your visualization of my explanation was equally flawed and incorrect. But still! In some capacity or another, we just went on a journey through time and space, and neither of us ever got up from our chairs. That's pretty awesome.

 

The mystery of our minds, and how they work, and how it is that we are able to do that thing that we just did, is just as great and just as important to our understanding of existence as are the birds and oceans and stars and dark matter. Some of the most basic questions you can form about yourself, like "what am I" "how am I", and "why am I" are still completely baffling the greatest minds we have. And, maybe this is just me, but there's a certain strange empowerment that comes from the realization that you are one of the greatest mysteries in the universe.

 

Stop Six: Home

 

Just kidding! This isn't a stop, it's the end of the ride! Welcome back to the surface. Now, depending on whether or not you had money in your purse when we started, you might have to pay me back later for that ride. Or maybe, depending on what you had for breakfast, you might now need to escape to the restroom. Or perhaps you have an incurable fear of heights, and you actually missed out on everything I said while we were on the Ferris Wheel. Rest assured that, though you were gone for a bit, you didn't miss out on anything that important, you are still you, birds still exist, the Earth keeps spinning, and the Universe inches a tiny bit closer to its grand finale. I hear the ice cream over there by the exit is pretty good. Enjoy the rest of your day.

 

Thank you very much for reading.

​

- ALGC